I have just started getting into Fall Out Boy recently. And I mean really getting into them, so far as to actually be able to say that I am a fan of them. I started this about...The middle or end of February of 2006 (that's this year, folks). So, with a certain level of liking, with me, comes a certain level of band member curiosity. The two members that struck me for this Let's Try to Get to Know Them game were Peter and Patrick.
One of the first things that hit me was: Wow, their names are just so plain and common because, hey, let's face that, at least on a first-name-basis, it's true. Then I thought Okay, enough randomness. Let's trying and dig into these boys' cores. I have yet to do this with any real turning up with Patrick. I have not gotten the chance to explore him quite as much yet. I will, however, get to that some day. Though, in some interesting detail, I think I've at least cracked a tiny bit of light onto who Peter Wentz might really be.
How on earth would I manage such a thing? Which comes first, the music or the misery? I said the music. Peter is the lyricist, or the "lyrical poet" if you will, of Fall Out Boy. He writes most of, if not all of the lyrics for the band. And that, I think, is where you should start. He's the lyricist, and anyone that writes anything at all can tell you that a certain amount of emotion and thought and feeling goes into these types of things. So, if you lay the lyrics around so you can see them, not hear them, but see them and really take the time to think about them, you can come up with a few things.
He's almost immediately obviously afraid. But what of? You have to dig a little deeper, think a little longer to find that. Sift through the things you're seeing, think about them in a different way. Maybe he's afraid of death, but not many people are exactly welcoming of that. I think one thing that's at least fairly strong in his written words is that he's afraid of being weak. Maybe even that his insecurities could possibly consume him one day.
The next step to chipping away another small piece of that mask that I think Pete might be hiding behind is reading through his entries he puts in his journal on the Fueled By Ramen website. I don't mean skim over them. Don't do this in a rush. I didn't. I thought that I would get tired or bored reading his entries, like I have my own friends' entries sometimes. We all whine and complain about how our parents are annoying us, our teachers hate us, or how our siblings should jump off a cliff and die. That all in itself just sounds tiring and boring, doesn't it? But that's not the sort of thing Pete writes about. He only writes about the things that really matter. Or at least thing hard-of-mattering to him at the time that he doesn't mind being public.
If you really sit down and take the time read through everything this man has to say and share with the public, it's really damn interesting. As a member of "higher society", shall we call it, he seems really down-to-earth; he loves the fans, because he knows that if it weren't for all of us....there would be nothing for them. And that's something that's hard to find in musicians (or anyone in that part of the "higher society") any more because they all let the fame and glory get to their heads and they let their egos blow up like blimps. But Peter's not like that, as far as I can tell.
There are things in there that he says, long, run-on-sentence filled, rambling paragraphs that he tacts something near the end about not making sense when he reads it in the morning, but I don't understand the point of those comments because what he's put in those entries make perfect sense to me. I can't decide what the deal is behind that, but, I guess it's not entirely important.
There are things he says....things I think everyone probably thinks at least once in their lifetime. But not many would take the time to actually express them at all. I've read through so many entries tonight, I don't know if I could honestly explain to you what I'm talking about or give you any examples of it, but believe me, it's all there.
Reading through these entries tells me that, no matter the insecurities he may have, no matter the weakness he may think he has (or maybe even actually possess), Peter Wentz is a strong man. He wears his heart on his sleeve and that's probably why he seems so hurt sometimes, because people probably figure this out fairly quick and take advantage of it. And that makes me sad for him because no one should do that to any one person. No one in the world deserves to wear their heart on their sleeve just so another person can come along and tear it off, rip it to bits, stomp on it, jump on it, and throw it in a blender and give it back, pretending as if it were whole. The hypothetic heart on his sleeve can mend, in time, with each break it takes, but it'll never be the same again; it won't ever be completely, 100% whole like it was in the beginning. And I have to say, I understand what that's like; I'm the same way...
I also admire this man for his incredible writing skills. I'm not talking about lyrics, but overall writing. I'm just like....ugh! I envy him for being able to write as goddamnmotherfucking well as he can (save occasional spelling/grammar errors.) but the strength he writes with and everything. I'd do ANYTHING to be able to write like that. But I only get somewhere in that general grey area of the awesome level of writing Peter's at so much of the time and that's usually when I'm over emotional over something. And my best seems to come when I'm depressed.
I envy him quite a bit, just from the things I've read tonight. I'm like, "oh my god! I wanna write like that!", but I don't know how he does it! And I say, "Dammit!" because of that. I mean, writing, it's going to be my life. And I write all the time, but it's nothing like that. If I ever meet him or get to talk to him at all, I will definitely talk to him about that kind of thing just because.... I'd love to know how he reached that point.
Overall, I think Peter Wentz is a very caring, loving person. I think he seems like a sweet, nice guy and people have probably taken advantage of him because of it, causing him to be a little sharp and rough around the edges. But I don't think that the sarcasm or possibly harshness that may seem to come from him is him being rude or mean or cruel, it's just part of who he is, maybe even who he's become because of the other people in his life.
I honestly hope everything in his life goes well and how he wants it to and I want him to be happy with whatever may happen in his life. And I hope I have the honor of meeting him one day, and what a day that would be.
**I want it to be noted that I am not trying to insinuate that anything I've said in this entry is 100 percent true, or if it's even true at all. This is all my take on Peter and his lyrics and his journal entries and what I think and what I feel for him.**
Excerpts
2/19/2004 - 3:02 AM EST
Its so much better and worse than you'd ever think. Write one to make my heart and lungs slow
down.
7/16/2004 - 4:12 AM EST
There's a part of me that thinks that things might turn out alright. But there's another part that hopes you didn't leave your hotel key between pages of the bible iin the drawer.
9/2/2004 - 8:06 PM EST
no one ever fell in love with anyone because of empty pockets or red splotched eyes.
3/22/2005 - 4:49 AM EST
love doesnt mean a thing if its not leaving us light headed- all my headaches are in my chest for you now.
7/19/2005 - 6:14 PM EST
i tend to run my mouth/heart without thinking too much about it.
*little voice* Later.
~AAH~
One of the first things that hit me was: Wow, their names are just so plain and common because, hey, let's face that, at least on a first-name-basis, it's true. Then I thought Okay, enough randomness. Let's trying and dig into these boys' cores. I have yet to do this with any real turning up with Patrick. I have not gotten the chance to explore him quite as much yet. I will, however, get to that some day. Though, in some interesting detail, I think I've at least cracked a tiny bit of light onto who Peter Wentz might really be.
How on earth would I manage such a thing? Which comes first, the music or the misery? I said the music. Peter is the lyricist, or the "lyrical poet" if you will, of Fall Out Boy. He writes most of, if not all of the lyrics for the band. And that, I think, is where you should start. He's the lyricist, and anyone that writes anything at all can tell you that a certain amount of emotion and thought and feeling goes into these types of things. So, if you lay the lyrics around so you can see them, not hear them, but see them and really take the time to think about them, you can come up with a few things.
He's almost immediately obviously afraid. But what of? You have to dig a little deeper, think a little longer to find that. Sift through the things you're seeing, think about them in a different way. Maybe he's afraid of death, but not many people are exactly welcoming of that. I think one thing that's at least fairly strong in his written words is that he's afraid of being weak. Maybe even that his insecurities could possibly consume him one day.
The next step to chipping away another small piece of that mask that I think Pete might be hiding behind is reading through his entries he puts in his journal on the Fueled By Ramen website. I don't mean skim over them. Don't do this in a rush. I didn't. I thought that I would get tired or bored reading his entries, like I have my own friends' entries sometimes. We all whine and complain about how our parents are annoying us, our teachers hate us, or how our siblings should jump off a cliff and die. That all in itself just sounds tiring and boring, doesn't it? But that's not the sort of thing Pete writes about. He only writes about the things that really matter. Or at least thing hard-of-mattering to him at the time that he doesn't mind being public.
If you really sit down and take the time read through everything this man has to say and share with the public, it's really damn interesting. As a member of "higher society", shall we call it, he seems really down-to-earth; he loves the fans, because he knows that if it weren't for all of us....there would be nothing for them. And that's something that's hard to find in musicians (or anyone in that part of the "higher society") any more because they all let the fame and glory get to their heads and they let their egos blow up like blimps. But Peter's not like that, as far as I can tell.
There are things in there that he says, long, run-on-sentence filled, rambling paragraphs that he tacts something near the end about not making sense when he reads it in the morning, but I don't understand the point of those comments because what he's put in those entries make perfect sense to me. I can't decide what the deal is behind that, but, I guess it's not entirely important.
There are things he says....things I think everyone probably thinks at least once in their lifetime. But not many would take the time to actually express them at all. I've read through so many entries tonight, I don't know if I could honestly explain to you what I'm talking about or give you any examples of it, but believe me, it's all there.
Reading through these entries tells me that, no matter the insecurities he may have, no matter the weakness he may think he has (or maybe even actually possess), Peter Wentz is a strong man. He wears his heart on his sleeve and that's probably why he seems so hurt sometimes, because people probably figure this out fairly quick and take advantage of it. And that makes me sad for him because no one should do that to any one person. No one in the world deserves to wear their heart on their sleeve just so another person can come along and tear it off, rip it to bits, stomp on it, jump on it, and throw it in a blender and give it back, pretending as if it were whole. The hypothetic heart on his sleeve can mend, in time, with each break it takes, but it'll never be the same again; it won't ever be completely, 100% whole like it was in the beginning. And I have to say, I understand what that's like; I'm the same way...
I also admire this man for his incredible writing skills. I'm not talking about lyrics, but overall writing. I'm just like....ugh! I envy him for being able to write as goddamnmotherfucking well as he can (save occasional spelling/grammar errors.) but the strength he writes with and everything. I'd do ANYTHING to be able to write like that. But I only get somewhere in that general grey area of the awesome level of writing Peter's at so much of the time and that's usually when I'm over emotional over something. And my best seems to come when I'm depressed.
I envy him quite a bit, just from the things I've read tonight. I'm like, "oh my god! I wanna write like that!", but I don't know how he does it! And I say, "Dammit!" because of that. I mean, writing, it's going to be my life. And I write all the time, but it's nothing like that. If I ever meet him or get to talk to him at all, I will definitely talk to him about that kind of thing just because.... I'd love to know how he reached that point.
Overall, I think Peter Wentz is a very caring, loving person. I think he seems like a sweet, nice guy and people have probably taken advantage of him because of it, causing him to be a little sharp and rough around the edges. But I don't think that the sarcasm or possibly harshness that may seem to come from him is him being rude or mean or cruel, it's just part of who he is, maybe even who he's become because of the other people in his life.
I honestly hope everything in his life goes well and how he wants it to and I want him to be happy with whatever may happen in his life. And I hope I have the honor of meeting him one day, and what a day that would be.
**I want it to be noted that I am not trying to insinuate that anything I've said in this entry is 100 percent true, or if it's even true at all. This is all my take on Peter and his lyrics and his journal entries and what I think and what I feel for him.**
2/19/2004 - 3:02 AM EST
Its so much better and worse than you'd ever think. Write one to make my heart and lungs slow
down.
7/16/2004 - 4:12 AM EST
There's a part of me that thinks that things might turn out alright. But there's another part that hopes you didn't leave your hotel key between pages of the bible iin the drawer.
9/2/2004 - 8:06 PM EST
no one ever fell in love with anyone because of empty pockets or red splotched eyes.
3/22/2005 - 4:49 AM EST
love doesnt mean a thing if its not leaving us light headed- all my headaches are in my chest for you now.
7/19/2005 - 6:14 PM EST
i tend to run my mouth/heart without thinking too much about it.
~AAH~
2 freaked out | Freak out
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